Seven.

we lay together, twisted and entwined
pretzels. tangled.
i am secretly in awe over the details of your body,
things before unappreciated but now, in full view,
i worship you.
but my god you must remain ignorant
a haunting suspicion that i am overestimating already,
getting attached

hopeful.

leads to woeful if i am not careful.
a comment here, how you are... present, hear, but not at times.
on the phone, in your hand while i am sitting here at the table staring at you.
and yet.
let it go. i breathe and swallow it
that sinking feeling,

oh, earth is still here?
i dont want to come down from this cloud

bury my feet in the sand
keep me here on land.


what have i done?
where am i going to be led? ...
i am excited to go with you, cannot navigate without you-
please dont jump ship.

ten.

its been a week and a day.
nothing special and yet--nothing but special.
 i cant stop smiling and even as i am writing this there is this weird feeling in my stomach like i am about to get on a roller coaster.
i cant talk about you to someone without failing to suppress a grin.
what happened? when did this happen?
how am i falling so quickly?
the serotonion, the dopamine, the melatonin.
chemistry.
it alights me. electricity surges through me when we touch, kiss,
i am deliriously happy.


and terribly afraid.
8 days. i feel like this is not just something that has happened and will be a short chapter in a long book of your escapades, trials and tribulations.
you know me so well, that i am  no angel. and yet,
we hardly know anything at all.
and that is the beauty of this--
we are old, and yet new. we are comfortable and yet, electricity pulsates through my body;
i swear if i try hard enough i can still smell the sweetness of your skin.

i must fight the urge to consume you.
i want to treasure you like the gift that you are. i am honored to be
in your presence, protected in your arms.
rapture overcomes me. 

i refuse to admit this. 8 days? this is real and i know it but seriously--
fate works in the most fucked up, best ways sometimes.